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Wednesday, September 15, 2010

The Goodyear Rule: Rubbers And Gay Men

We've all had the notion of rubbers being super important whenever a relationship exists between two men. We've repeatedly had the notion that using one, preferably many, forms of personal protection to prevent the spread of disease between people to be important. I get all of that. Really. It's important and I am sure many, many people have been spared impediments to their health thanks to their common use.

Sometimes I think that the quality of relationships and the commitment required between us is somehow cheapened by these preventative measures. If I find someone who I really like, at what point can I really drop my defenses and really unite with my partner as my one true mate? Can I ever really, completely offer myself to my partner if I insist on using preventative measures whenever we choose to share ourselves? It seems like continuing to use them for a certain period of time lets a small bit of distrust develop between partners. Distrust, tends to be an extremely destructive force in a relationship. I've seen one tablespoon of distrust be enough to destroy some of the strongest, more beautiful relationships I've ever seen in my life.

On the other hand, we've all heard horror stories about how a friend of a friend trusted their partner, their partner cheated, and both then ended up with a horrible disease and incredibly hurtful relationship on their hands afterwards.

So, when is the best point in time to actually drop your defensive shields with your partner? One month? Six months? A Year? Thanks for your personal emails and comments.

- Brad

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